Richard Lloyd Jones: Ask them about what's important to them and they'll parry your enthusiasm with a nonchalant shrug and a mumbled, I don't know. You can predict it. Somewhere between kiddom and adolescence, your child stops asking inquisitive questions and starts acting like everything you care about and they used to care about is now completely useless. I'm Richard Lloyd Jones, and today I'm Thinking with Somebody Else's Head, the tyranny of cool.
How can we understand and help our teenagers? Listen, I know I'm dangerously close to sounding like every older generation person now, lamenting the lost younger generation. But at the risk of sounding like every parent you know, I'm going to go out on a limb and propose that really, today, something is different with our teenagers. I'm open to the consideration that maybe it's just a matter of degree, but I think something is dreadfully wrong in the soul of our young people.
Of course, we can't separate that from the corruption in values we've witnessed in society, and that process has been aided and abetted by, among others, my generation. So I don't mean to separate myself from the problem and suggest, hey, we were wonderful. What the bleeps the matter with you guys? Now, I have rather sobering memories, actually, of Mrs. Kent coming up to me in the halls after English Lit class when I was surrounded by my basketball-loving friends and asking me embarrassingly, Richard, wasn't Milton's Paradise Lost beautiful today?
I don't think my response was particularly full of gratitude and enthusiastic agreement. So it's always been somewhat this way, but I still maintain that the adolescents are in worse shape today. Let's analyze this a bit. Salma Genzani is one of the lead psychoanalysts at Norberto Keppe's Integral Psychoanalysis Clinic here in Brazil.
She has vast experience with adults and children and teenagers. Selma, last time we talked about kids. Right. We focused on mostly the censorship of the parents, how the parents spoil the kids by giving them anything they want. Let's focus on the kids today, particularly the adolescents, because I've noticed a big change since when I was a kid. Here we go. I'm sounding like my father now when I was a boy.
But I have noticed that kids today, they
Salma Genzani: don't seem interested in anything, teenagers especially. When I
Richard: say to my teenage students sometimes, I'll say, hey, did you see that movie, Spider-Man? And they'll say, yeah. I say, what did you think? Yeah, it was okay. And I'll say, well, what about this new one, X-Men? What did you think of that? Yeah, it was okay.
Nothing is like good. Nothing is fantastic. The tyranny
Salma: of cool, we could say.
How do you see this? How do you analyze this? Yes, I think this is what most worries us today concerning the adolescents. This lack of interest that they have for anything, for life, for the world where they live, for the future and for true ideals. They are very much worried only with their appearance, how they dress, how the hair looks like, going out with friends where there is a lot of alcohol and drugs and electronic crazy music.
Or they are very much worried too with how to get the latest products on electronics and how to have money for these things. And that's what they are linked on. And this is very sad because these things that they look for, they provoke a lot of anxiety, agitation, and they get depressed because these things don't supply the true longings, the true demands of the human beings.
So they never really get to a true accomplishment if they are only focused on this.
Richard: So before we talk about what the true value in life is, which we've talked about a number of times in this program, what's behind this sort of despising everything in the world? What's behind all that?
Salma: Well, for example, this question of inversion is very serious here, right? Because we see that to be cool nowadays is to be apathetic. This question of not giving value to anything that has value.
You don't listen to experienced people. You stay only on your own selfish needs. And it's very uncool to be happy, to be enthusiastic with life, to like goodness. This is considered to be uncool. So this is a big inversion, and it's based on envy, because then the kids, the adolescents nowadays especially, they don't have gratitude for anything good they have in life.
And if we see our life or their lives, let's say, they have a lot of reasons to be grateful.
Richard: How is this envy? We've talked about envy in this program many times, but I think because the social definition of envy is so different from how we define it here in Analytical Trilogy, how is this envy not to appreciate, not to have gratitude for what you have?
Salma: It is exactly this, not willing to see the goodness you have in life. And the adolescents, let's take their example today, they usually have a good life.
They have friends, they have school, they have a house to live, they have parents. They have many good things in life to be grateful to. But they despise goodness. They think that this is not cool to be grateful for the things that they have. So they enter in this kind of energetic of really not giving value to life itself.
Richard: How has this happened?
How has this gotten so much worse, at least in my perception, so much worse over the last 20, 30 years?
Salma: I think this question in our society that having is much more important than being. It's not born with the adolescence. Our society is like this today, so they learn to look for things that they should have. The clothing, they have to be certain makes, their cars, the house, the neighborhood where they live. So having consumerism, money, capitalism, all this situation make people despise real values, ethical values, true values, being loyal to your friends, etc.
So, there are a few exceptions today, let's say, each time less exceptions. We listen to young people say that they have a motivation for something that's true, like sporting activities or artistic activities or scientific or being a volunteer. So, they are not worried or doing something useful with their lives. And this brings a lot of dissatisfaction.
And all this is based on envy. I don't want to see what is good. I don't want to do what is good. This is not cool. This is not fashionable anymore. Totally uncool. And so this has been fed by our society, by the sort of the economic structure. This
Richard: enters into the question of sociopathology, which
Salma: Keppe has
Richard: talked about.
Salma: Certainly the socioeconomic power has always used human pathology to market its products.
And the adolescents, they have less defenses. They are more naive in this sense. So they buy. They buy the products that I put to them. And it's very interesting for the powerful machine that directs our planet to have adolescents that don't think. They only want to buy. They are not interested of building anything useful in their lives or in the planet where we live.
So they don't contest, they don't argue, and it's okay, they live like this.
They are drugged, or they are in the internet all the time, "that is said to be the drug of our era." Many people already say this, "we don't need cocaine or the others any longer, because internet is enough. They stay
Richard: hours and hours there." I'd like to come back to this question of the internet, because I think this is very important. But first, I'd just like to talk about, I was watching a movie with some students, an old James Dean movie in the 1950s, Rebel Without a Cause.
This was what we identified with teenagers for many, many years, was to rebel against the status quo, to sort of fight for an ideal, to try to be different in some way from the values that they saw in their parents. Of course, a lot of this was based on envy, too, trying to overturn good things. But in some cases, there was an attempt to try to fight against the hypocrisy that they saw in society.
This is almost totally gone now. Do you have any ideas why we've lost that sense of trying to fight for an ideal?
Salma: Yeah, I think there is a huge work that has been done with our world. So the kids that are born 10, 15 years ago, maybe even 20, they are different from the kids we were in our youth. So I believe that the drugs counted a lot of this.
The CIA introduced the drugs in the 60s, and that was really something. And that revolution that was at the time, also they were too much linked still with sensorial life. So they thought through sensorial values they could achieve something so in my understanding they had a mix of true values but Still, they couldn't see that the true ones would be psychological, artistic, disinverted.
There was a lot of inverted ideas that were not conscientized at that time. So it was easy to introduce the drugs, the sensorialist, the importance of sex in this.
And this deviated a lot the ideals of the time. And as time goes by, the new generations, this is only increasing. And we see a very difficult situation nowadays with kids.
Richard: You know, Dr. Keppe has been talking a lot recently about, I would characterize it this way, is the difference between a sensorial sort of materialistic life and a more psychological spiritual life.
And I think this is a very important thing for teenagers to understand. "What is a psychological spiritual life? What would that be?" Maybe you could
Salma: talk a bit about that. "Yes, we see that not only adolescents, but we are all very much linked to the world outside. This having or worried what we are going to eat today or tomorrow, what you are going to do for the weekend or the vacations or the university.
It's all exterior life that matters. And we are very much disconnected with our inner self, inner lives."
What we really feel, what we really think about things, the intentions that we have, we almost don't know them. And it's fundamental, this coming back to one's inner life. And the adolescents still, they are more pure people in this sense, because they are not so much masked. It still is easier for them to access their inner lives. They see how the world is, they are linked to the external, to the appearances, but if we do a work with them, the response is much quicker than the response with adults.
Richard: Yeah, adults are more stubborn, right?
Salma: Right. So when they find out that they have inside what they need to be really happy, that they don't need to dress the way the system tells them to dress or their friends, they don't have to do what the others do in order to be cool, that they can have their own personality and develop their own goods, they start to be born again.
And this is very beautiful to see.
Richard: You know, in this James Dean movie, it was interesting that he got into trouble because he was challenged by some other guys to not be a chicken, you know, to drive. And so he did a very stupid thing and a guy got killed because he didn't have any contact with himself. He thought that he had to look good for others.
And this is a big mistake that we've made for centuries.
Salma: Yes, this question of relativism. What is good for me might not be good for you. This is a big mistake. Because we have all the same essence, which is true, good, and beautiful. So, what is good for me is good for all the others. So, I will be original, be authentic, the most I can act and feel and act according to my essence.
To what is really original in me, by nature, by essence.
Richard: And this is where the real self-confidence comes from, too.
Salma: Right, yes.
Richard: Let's go back then to a point you were making a few moments ago that because we're looking for this happiness outside, we're so addicted to this and our society completely forces us into this tunnel. You have to get more. The whole capitalistic system is based on this. You have to buy, buy, buy, buy. So you need to get things on the outside.
This must be behind this desire of the young people to look for happiness in the Internet, in a second life, in another way of being, in another reality, somehow virtual reality. Do
Salma: you see it that way? Oh, yes. And I see this is very dangerous, too, because in this kind of games that they call this second life nowadays, a kid can choose, starting from his own physical characteristics, as the hair color, their height, their eye color, anything.
They can also choose the family, the people they live with, the city, the neighborhood, anything.
So he starts to live hours a day in this virtual life, his second life, abandoning his real life, that is what real matters. And this is interesting because, you know, I see it is like materialization of envy and lack of gratitude. Don't you want your life? No. So choose another. So it's like you can materialize this life that you would like to have, but that's not your life.
And this exercise also gives space to the theomania, the megalomania. I can be anything I want. I can do anything I desire. I can control other people's life. I'm like a god in power. And this is the way for mental sickness, more deep mental sickness. So this is something important for the parents to be alert, because they really have to take care of what their kids are doing in their free time in internet or computers, because they might be really building their way to total serious disease, mental disease.
We saw cases already like this. I think everybody hears about this today. But it starts like this. It's a game that seems to have no second consequence, but it's very serious.
Richard: Yeah, it seems so benign. They're
Salma: just playing a game, but actually...
Richard: And I think this is very linked to a lot of what we see now in the quantum physics area. This whole law of attraction that the universe is just waiting for your decision as to what's going to manifest for your reality.
So maybe this is another way of continuing this megalomania of human beings. We don't have to fit into reality. If we don't like reality, we just choose another one.
Salma: Yes, and this opens space for the influence of bad spirits, for this question of the demonic spirits that are here. We consider this a lot because we see this is very scientific, and it would be not scientific not to consider this because it's real.
So when we give space for megalomania, this desire of being whatever you we want, we are letting apart our being, our true essence, and then we are given space for these beings that want to suck the energy of human beings to be closer to us, to possess human beings. I don't know if I made myself clear, but if you open the
Richard: space there are beings that want
Salma: to take care of you in the bad way.
Sure they
Richard: want a place to live, so they can influence you to do all these crazy,
Salma: terrible things. So it's not so surprising the reactions that some kids have today of after playing hours with these games, they go somewhere, they take a gun and they kill somebody, or they run over somebody when they drive madly, or they have reactions like this. They are really possessed.
And this is very serious. Yeah,
Richard: this opens a door. These kinds of things, this being out of reality opens a door to creatures, beings that want to continue to take us out of reality.
This
Salma: is very important to understand. To be conscientized because many people... In Brazil, it's easier to talk about this because here the subject is more dealt with, with not so much censorship. I understand in Europe, maybe North America too, it's more difficult to talk about these things. That's why I mentioned this is scientific to talk about this. Because the link between mental
Richard: sickness and possession, demonic possession, has always been studied by great psychiatrists.
And in Trilogy, we study a lot this. We did a podcast on this recently with Cesar on Universe of the Spirits to talk about this directly because I think it's a very important issue that
Salma: we're totally terrified of in North America. I can imagine.
Richard: What's a poor parent to do in the middle of all this demonic influences, unreal situations on the Internet?
Salma: Because all this psychopathology, the envy, the inversion, the theomanian, this intention of the power to have slaves for them all the time, all this is very scary, especially when it is unconscientized. Because when it is unconscientized, it's like a bomb ready to explode any time. And most of parents and people only find out that something is wrong with their kids when the bomb explodes.
So we are talking about this to awaken the consciousness, not only of kids, but of parents and teachers and people who deal with adolescents. To see that this exists, this has to be taken care of. I mean the soul and the social pathology. I think that this should be introduced in schools the soonest possible. We are doing a work here in Brazil in this sense, and this is bringing good results, because the kids, they respond very well to knowing their psychology, knowing their psychopathology, their bad attitudes, and they feel released when they start to understand what happens with their inner self.
So consciousness, to know about it, to talk about it, not to censor, not to hide, bring it up. And this is salvation, not the opposite. Because we do this confusion that when we see the problems, when we see things, we think that then things exist and they are disturbing. If we don't see, oh, it's okay, it's going like this, and it's the opposite.
While we don't see, we are just feeding this bomb inside. And then it's a question of time. Because there is something positive about this that is important to say. Because all the efforts we need to know to break the barriers of alienation, all the efforts will be totally recompensated. Because when we do this, we reestablish the energetic link with the scalar energy that feeds us all in this planet.
Because consciousness works like a pipeline through which we absorb this scalar energy, vital energy that we need.
So when we don't have consciousness, when we are blind to what is happening in reality, we block this pipeline, this energy. So when we start to deal with this, to open our eyes to see even what's negative, what's necessary to see, we unblock, we open this pipeline And there is the reestablishment of this contact with the scalar energy that is
Richard: our salvation.
I think this is beautiful because Keppe is always talking about this. There is a reality that exists. Our problems are all coming from the rejection of this reality. So the moment we start to see how we're rejecting reality, we're automatically reconnected with the reality again.
Salma: And this is a beautiful part. So we don't need to build anything, to look for something, to construct as we are always interested.
We just have to stop to spoil, stop to block, and it will be re-established.
Richard: You know, Keppe's book, The Origin of Illness, is very valuable in helping us to understand better the process of envy. And it's available at online booksellers. Or write me, and I'll make sure you get a copy. Rich at richjonesvoice.com. It's great for parents and teenagers. This is Thinking with Somebody Else's Head. I'm Richard Lloyd Jones. Talk to you next week.
